Alone at Last...

This week I have had more alone time than I've had in years. The production I was working on had a great weekend of performances and has closed. Now I have five weeks until I start on my next project. I decided to come up with a few different ways to cure my loneliness and boredom.


On Monday I went to Walmart by myself for the first time this year. I took a long time walking through every single aisle. While that method of shopping occupied my time, it also led to me spending more money than I had hoped. If you’re trying to save money I don't recommend retail therapy as your boredom remedy.

The next day I decided to clean my room. This took me a few hours because I decided to get into all of the nooks and crannies. I made my bed and did my laundry as well. This remedy made me feel great about myself. A clean room automatically makes my mental health better. I started to appreciate my extra time because it allowed me to get my life somewhat together. That night I made myself a cup of tea and started a new book. I have always been an avid reader. Usually I don't allow myself to read recreationally during the school year because I hyper-fixate on my books and neglect my homework. This was a nice break from having to choose between my schooling and the things that make me happy.

On Wednesday I started to feel a little bit lonely. All of my friends are still in rehearsals so I felt slightly left out. I decided to catch up on “Dancing With the Stars.” My mom and I used to watch that show when I was little and I’ve slowly been getting back into it. This year I am rooting for Rylee and Stephen because they are so positive and make me smile. 

Unfortunately on Wednesday I also found out that my grandpa had passed away. He’s been sick for a while so it wasn't entirely unexpected but it still took a toll on me. I have so much free time but it's still not enough to be able to go home and hug my dad. I miss my family and I wish I had something to do in the evenings to distract me. Tonight I am going to try to go to sleep really early. Maybe if I catch up on sleep I won't feel as sad.

It's a struggle for me to feel relatively useless. I am slowly finding the balance between the loneliness I feel and the freedom that this time gives me. I get to go home this weekend and be with my family so every empty night is a countdown to that. Something I need to work on is being okay with being alone. Maybe these next four weeks will help me figure things out

Comments

  1. Ella FooseSeptember 26, 2024 at 12:18 PM

    I completely understand what you're going through right now. Now that the show is over, I have so much more free time But I have also been going through some personal stuff, and all that free time gives me time to think about the negative. I'm working on doing things for me though, and I also have been reading more. Keep pushing through! And it's so great you get to go home and see your family!

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